"Don't Quit (smoking)" Shirt

Does your physical and mental health take a backseat in the quality of your human experience? Are you drawn to toxicity? Perhaps you wish to encourage every unhealthy decision you witness made by others. This depressingly funny T-Shirt will help you do just that. Spread the quasi-subliminal message, “Don’t Quit Smoking” from Depressing T-Shirts.

"Down on my luck and I don't give a fuck" T-Shirt

Celebrate your misfortune with this crass, yet hilarious shirt that says “Down On My Luck And I don’t Give a Fuck.” It’s sure to incite humor as well as pity from those around you, if they are capable of such a feeling.

"Future Food" Cockroach Shirt

Have you ever stopped to think that this planet simply does not have the resources to sustain human life indefinitely? The population is only growing as is the demand for food. Our food and water supply is dwindling. In the event of an inevitable food crisis, should we decided to not turn cannibal, we will be forced to resort to less desirable food options. Luckily, with world is in no short supply of roaches.

This shirt depicts a cockroach on a gourmet-styled, round frame with the words “Future Food” written beneath it. Guaranteed to gross-out anyone you come across.

"Hope Is Irrational" Shirt

Are you optimistic about the future? Do you have faith that things will work out for the better? Well, that’s stupid and this shirt isn’t for you. Let everyone around you know that their thoughts, prayers, wishes, hopes and dreams are nothing more than an unrealistic fantasy with this fantastically blunt T-Shirt reading, “Hope is Irrational”. It’s guaranteed to impose a reminder the harsh reality that everything we know is spiraling towards oblivion.

"I Hate This" Shirt

Let them know how you feel wherever you are. This shirt works great in all sorts of context: whether dragged to a party where everyone sucks, or you're having dinner with the inlaws. Practically any situation you don't care to be involved in, this shirt conveys your discontent in a frank, bold, and straightforward manner. It simply reads, "I hate this." 

"Legalize Crime" Shirt

As social cohesion continues to unravel in this country, what better way to show enthusiasm for the end times than by wearing a shirt that advertises your willingness to watch it all burn? The "Legalize Crime" shirt is perfect for any black-pilled nihilists eager to expedite the apocalypse and convey their apathy as humanity circles the drain. 

"No Lives Matter" shirt

Given the foreseeable infiniteness of the ever-expanding universe which itself is also doomed to die in a cooling that is unfathomable to the minds of mere mortals such as ourselves, it seems only safe to assume that the finite timeline of a given creature in any species is inconsequential to the grand scale and spanning of existence. No lives matter. Not one of them. Nothing is forever and the least of these is human life and consciousness.

Let everyone in your blip of existence understand this by sporting a shirt that conveys this idea. The shirt says, “No lives matter” and it’s true. This isn’t a political commentary. It’s a mere statement of fact. Get over yourself.

"Santa Isn't Real Nor Is Jesus #woke" Shirt

Ruin the holidays for little kids and parents alike! You are a conveyor of truth, a holder of the light. Let the kids know that Santa isn't real. Let them know that those presents under the tree aren't from the jolly old fat guy dressed in red. Let them know their god is a lie! Your eyes are open! You're so woke! Good for you!

This shirt is great for the Holidays. It has a picture of the fictitious Saint Nick with the words, "Santa Isn't Real Nor Is Jesus #woke.

This shirt is hilarious. Please don't pretend that it's not.

"Smol PP" Shirt

Are you hung like a raisin? Own it! And, what better way to manage the expectations of your next hot date than with a shirt that boldly states that you're packing a Vienna Sausage in your trousers? Let the world know! Take pride in it! Have the undeniably bold confidence it takes to be honest with yourself and with others. The shirt says "Smol PP (Very Smol)." Your would-be lover will be thrilled to know that the next sexcapade will be oral-centric. Got get em, Short Stack!

"Squander Your Talents" Shirt

Most of us wake up to a world where in which we squander for meaning a purpose. Ultimately nothing matters. This shirt celebrates the epiphany of meaninglessness of existence. It’s an idea that frees you from ultimate concern and allows you the freedom to waste away as you see fit. After all, we all end up in the dirt. If you’re walking on ice you might as well dance.

 

This shirt features a dancing skeleton with nonsensical voodoo and spiritual symbology. Around the design are the words “Squander Your Talents” and “Nothing Matters”.

"Stuck On Stupid" Christian Cross shirt

Wear with caution.This shirt will leave your Christian neighbors feeling butthurt. This shirt has the words “Stuck On Stupid” written on the chest. The “T” in both words is replaced with a shared Christian cross.

DISCLAIMER: Please make no mistake. We at Depressing T-Shirts loath humans of all creeds and kinds very much equally. We find the faithful no more or less despicable than our fellow non-believers. Humans in general suck. However we do not afford the ideasheld by groups to the advantage. Religious ideas are silly, archaic and dangerous. So, we are highly critical of these ideas any chance that we can.

 

"Things That Don’t Exist" Shirt

This shirt bears the existential quantifier, “∄“ which means “THERE DOES NOT EXIST”. Surrounding this symbol is a circle bearing words which represent ideas that can only exist in concept. They are: purpose, knowledge, meaning and divinity. This shirt is guaranteed to get some fun and interesting conversations going. 

"Working Hard Now To Die Comfortably In The Future" Shirt

You’re a hard worker. Yes you are. “You shovel sixteen ton. What do you get? Another day older and deeper in debt.” Have you sold your soul to the company store? NEWSFLASH: You don’t have a soul. You’re just working hard now for the unrealistic hope that you’ll die comfortably in the future. If you’ve accepted this reality, why not give us some of your hard-earned money in exchange for a shirt that reads, “Working Hard Now To Die Comfortably In The Future”?

“Slouching towards Oblivion“ Shirt

Are you tired? Rundown? Listless? Don’t just talk about it! Be about it. The world sits on your shoulders and you’ve accepted that fighting to resist it is a self-destructing act of futility. Let the world know that you’ve given-up on keeping your chin up with this utterly depressing t-shirt reading, “Slouching towards Oblivion. “

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